jueves, 29 de marzo de 2007

"Just let me go"

Now some recent poetry of mine…


Just let me go

Just let me go
Don’t hold me back
I can’t continue here
I don’t feel like staying

Just let me go
I can’t go on with you
I don’t wanna stay
Now’s the time, I leave

My life is far away
I am from somewhere else
I miss that place
I miss the life I used to have

Just let me go
I want my life back again
I leave you here now
I go far away, where my life is

Just let me go
And never call me again
I prefer to know anything more
About you, baby

I’m not with someone else,
I don’t like you anymore
I want my life back now
I’ll miss you, anyway.


Vale

You're killing me - Song

More poetry… But it’s like a pop song. I wrote it with that purpose I think… It is one of my first writings, and it was written in English! Now that I read it after some years, it sounds kind of insane, a childish cry for love… I don’t know. But I wrote that, and I’m still me…




You’re killing me

I know exactly how it feels
To be alive, and at the same time dead.I live ‘cause I still breath
I live ‘cause my heart beats,
But I’m dying because of you.

You’re killing me so slowly, so silently,
That you may not even know you are,
And I feel I’m dying so slowly, so silently,
That you may not even know I am.

In every step I do, of this single everyday walk
In every single say that passes by,
In whatever I do, I feel that I’m dying slowly.

‘Cause you’re killing me, or maybe you’re not,
Maybe I’m getting mad about you, maybe I’m not
But I’m sure: my daily death is because of you.

You’re killing me so slowly, so silently,
That you may not even know you are,
And I feel I’m dying so slowly, so silently,
That you may not even know I am.

I know exactly how it feels
Because you are making me feel this,
You are the cause
You are my life, you are all for me
And I’m dying because of you.

The only solution for me,
The only way in which I can live,
Is if you were here with me.

‘Cause you’re killing me so slowly, so silently,
That you may not even know you are,
And I feel I’m dying so slowly, so silently,
That you may not even know I am.

Or maybe you’re not killing me,
You don’t even know I’m dying
And I’m dying because of your love,
Because you don’t love me,
Your love is for someone else.
I feel so empty without you,
Without your love I’m anything,
I feel like dying if you’re not here with me.

You’re killing me so slowly, so silently,
That you may not even know you are,
And I feel I’m dying so slowly, so silently,
That you may not even know I am.




Vale Becker

Multitasking and me

Do I multitask? Yes, I do… but it depends on the activities I am doing. I always multitask while I’m at the computer, although there are some exceptions, like now, that I concentrate entirely in this writing. I read mails, chat with 10 people at the same time (sometimes), I listen to music, I download music, I write a mail, I leave comments on some fotologs and I search some images of artists and actors I like. As my internet connection is very slow, I do one thing while another is loading, and so on. I get really bored if I don’t. My parents can’t understand how I manage to do all that. Sometimes (before I loose my patience), I explain my dad that he can enter to the website he wants while the mails are loading, and he doesn’t understand. Once I’ve done it for him, and he has gotten angry because he wants to learn, no to have things done by another, he doesn’t remember which is the window that is loading each thing!
What I hate most is the chat conversations where there are more than two people, and I’m doing something else that requires not being in that window all the time. People talk and talk, and ask, and I’m in another conversation, and they start sending buzzes and I get mad!! Then comes the part where they start with “Who are you chatting with? Who is more important than us? Are you sleeping?” I don’t understand a single part of what they are talking about. Those conversations tend to be very stupid. When more than three people are chatting in the same window, I don’t know why, but they all talk insane things. I like that only when I’m really bored and doing anything else at the same time. So, I multitask when I’m in the computer, but I don’t chat in that crowded conversations. Also, when I have to write something, I prefer to do it without multitasking: I only think, read and write.
While I study I never listen to music. I always start singing and I loose my concentration. Yet I love doing math exercises with music! I do all my homework listening to it, except studying and reading.
Also, I have some friends that are chatting with someone else while they are talking in the phone! I don’t know how they can!! If I want to speak coherently, I can’t do both at the same time. I hate when I’m in the phone with one of them and they start answering to everything “Aha” “Ok” “Yes” and then they ask: “What did you just ask me?” I hate that!!! I don’t like loosing my time, and when they do me that, I just cut down the phone. And when I start hearing the keys, I threaten with doing it.
I don’t consider myself a person who multitasks too much. I do it only in the situations when I don’t need the attention of my complete mind. I prefer to do something well, concentrating all myself in it. If I try to do a lot of things in a short time, doing everything together, my mind is a mess and I don’t do ok any of those things.
That’s my experience with multitasking.

Vale

domingo, 25 de marzo de 2007

Reaction to a passage of Fahrenheit 451

“Her face was slender and milk-white, and in it was a kind of gentle hunger that touched over everything with tireless curiosity. It was a look, almost, of pale surprise; the dark eyes were so fixed to the world that no move escaped them. Her dress was white and it whispered. […] He [Montag] saw himself in her eyes, suspended in two shining drops of bright water, himself dark and tiny, in fine detail, the lines about his mouth, everything there, as if her eyes were two miraculous bits of violet amber that might capture and hold hi intact. Her face, turned to him now, was fragile milk crystal with a soft and constant light in it. It was not the hysterical light of electricity but […] the strangely comfortable and rare and gently flattering light of the candle.”

Here I put together two passages of the book where Clarisse McClellan is described. The author insists a lot in that “whiteness” she has. I have her image in my head, I have Montag’s image too. The description is very rich.
Clarisse is white-skinned and has a white dress; so I feel as if she was all white. At the first reading of this part I got the image and I am sure that what Bradbury wants to show us is the purity this girl has. She might be insane, but in some way she shows us that she is very intelligent and pure. She is taking care of every detail, she watches everything that is so normal, so common for everybody, and she finds something new, different, that most of the people don’t. Clarisse knows when the grass has dew, or she sees a man in the moon shadows!
The being “insane” in this story, I think that involves the being “different” of the rest. She is different, but in a pretty much better way. She is taking care of the details, she “thinks too much”, as Montag says in the book. Everybody in that city where the book takes place live as if they were being chased. They drive very fast and they don’t take time to see the landscape, to see the billboards, to see life. I think that when the girl tells the story of her uncle, who was in jail for driving too slow in the highway, it is like a symbol in the book. Everybody in that town lives life quickly, without paying attention to what surrounds them. Everybody lives like that except Clarisse; everybody drives fast except her uncle. She is “insane” because she is “different”, but actually I think she is the one who is living as life should be lived: enjoying every moment, every detail, everything.
I can talk a lot about this girl, because I feel a bit identified with her in the fact that I tend to analyse a lot those peculiar things. I can find something new in that object I see everyday and I am so used to it. I love just watching the mountains, watching the grass in my garden, although it’s the landscape I have everyday. And I can’t tell you how I enjoy the moon and the stars! I also tend to do this: “I like to smell things and look at things, and sometimes stay up all night, walking, and watch the sun rise.” (Fragment of the book). I’ve spent some nights just thinking, reading, writing, and then watching the sunrise. I smell different odors; I find all the details in people, in things.
Anyway, I told you about my identifying aspect with Clarisse although I didn’t want to get out of what I really wanted to say.
What Bradbury points out is that purity the girl has. He doesn’t say that, but with all the images we have, that is my personal perception of the girl. I think that’s what he wants to show. Apart from the “physical whiteness”, she is pure inside. She is not like everybody in her town, she hasn’t been influenced by all these people that call her “insane” just because she enjoys life. All this “beauty” of her soul is shown where he says that she has a constant “comfortable rare and gently” light in her face. That shows us purity too, or at least that’s what I get from it. That image also tells me that she is happy. This description gives me the impression that it is really comfortable to be with her, it’s interesting to talk to her. She is rare, but in a good way.
I chose these two passages because in both there was description of the girl, and also because there is a comparison. Clarisse is all white, pure, and then it says that Montag sees himself “dark and tiny”, reflected in her eyes. It’s the only image we have of him in these passages; it is small, but it has a lot of meaning. While Montag is contemplating all this purity and brightness, he sees himself as all the opposite of it. White means purity and black, or dark, means impurity, mystery, death, sadness, the concept of “nada” of Ernest Hemingway.
Maybe the fireman sees himself like that because he has very low self esteem, and we read what he is looking. But maybe he is just like that and the narrator is telling what he thinks, not what Montag might be thinking. Anyway, the fact is that there is a comparison between Clarisse and Montag, and they are the opposite in what refers to her white and shiny image, and his “dark and tiny” silhouette.
I said that I feel identified with Clarisse… I do! But in what she does and the way she analyses everything, every detail, every object. But not in the sense of purity, white dress and white skin. =P

Deep analysis?
I really got inspired, and the book is great!!


Vale

Reaction to the phrase by Juan Ramón Jiménez

“If they give you ruled paper, write the other way” Juan Ramón Jiménez

This phrase is at the beginning of the book, and really caught my attention.
What I first interpreted is that doing this, you are rejecting some help. Ruled paper was invented to facilitate something: to make easier the tidy-writing. So, if you are “rebel” and you write the other way, I feel as if you were not accepting that facility that someone gives you.
That is what I thought when first reading that phrase. But when all my partners started giving their opinion, I thought it in another way. All the reactions were based on a same idea because the sentence is very clear, but there were some variations.
Maybe it is saying that you must rebel, whatever you get, or someone gives you; you must do the other way. It can be because you just want to do the other way just to contradict the whole world, or maybe you have a reason. That reason can be that maybe you need to write the other way of the ruled paper because you want to do something that maybe the lines will bother you. Or maybe you might want to challenge yourself, to try new experiences, to act in a way no one does. Maybe you are from the ones who believe that you have to walk the unwalked, to create a new path, to go where no one has been.
Whichever your reason might be, this phrase is telling us to do as anyone does, to try something new. We will all do that with different purposes, but we must try it.
I don’t know what the book will be about, although I’ve read some pages. We’ll see that later, but I’m sure that we will find someone that goes against the stream, does as anyone does. And I’m sure that person might be Clarisse.


Vale

Fahrenheit 451

Fahrenheit 451:
The temperature at which book-paper catches fire and burns.

Image on the right: the book cover.
Image on the left: DVD cover. I liked it, because it shows an idea of the characters. I haven't seen it, but I found it while I was looking the one of the book.

sábado, 24 de marzo de 2007

Wonderful Being & Nobody Knows

Wonderful Being

Why are you crying wonderful being?
What’s happening to you?
Did someone do something to you?
What are you thinking of now?
Oh, please don’t cry
Are you feeling bad?
Cause if you are, so I am.
You are a part of me
If I see you crying, I cry too,
But when happiness reaches you
More than happiness reaches me.
So now please talk with me
Let’s solve our problem together,
Let’s be happy again,
Let me help you being happy,
Let me be happy with you.
What I love most is your smile
I want to see it again.
What’s your problem now?





When a friend of mine is feeling bad, it really reaches me…
I hate when people start with the typical “I can’t”, “It impossible for me to reach that”, or “I’m not good enough”. When friends are feeling sad, hopeless, depressed, without energy, I also feel that way. I sometimes may feel all this too, but I believe we have to try to solve problems out. I like giving my support to my friends, to people who need it. And maybe that’s what I need when I’m not feeling ok. Maybe the poem was written by me, to me. Who knows… if I don’t!?

This week I’ve been very busy and with no time for myself, that’s the reason I’ve been so tired. But Friday morning, I’ve been confused, silent, not knowing many things, like autistic, without energy, sleepy, without any reaction, with my eyes staring at just anything… I want your forgiveness! I’m sorry, but it has been a weird Friday morning, I didn’t understand anything and I couldn’t control myself. There were things in me, and acts I did, that I didn’t understand… So a song came to my mind: “Nobody knows” by Pink. These are the passages that I feel identified with:

“Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
That I sometimes cry

Tomorrow I'll be there my friend

I'll wake up and start all over again

Nobody knows

Nobody knows the rhythm of my heart
The way I do when I'm lying in the dark

I think nobody knows

Nobody knows but me”

I feel that most of the time. But on Friday morning, I didn’t know even the rhythm of my heart, the way I was doing when I was lying in the dark. I couldn’t understand me. It was all a mess…

Vale Becker

My Death

Ok, now's the turn of a story I wrote a couple of years ago.


MY DEATH

I woke up as the routine told me. I changed my clothes, and went out to the street. I felt that what I was doing was like controlled by someone else. A familiar voice was telling a brief summary of my past life although I could not recognize who he was. Down the street there were many villains and bad people, those ones I didn’t like. I had that feeling of hate towards them, but it was the first time I was seeing that bad guys.
Suddenly one of them turned back to me, and as if somebody was controlling me, I jumped, prepared a good kick and hit him in his head. He started bleeding and stayed in the floor lying there. Another one came, I put my fist up, it moved with strength, and the man fell to the floor. I continued walking and I met with some more of that gang, but only two of them could hit me and left me a little bit powerless than before.
Near the bus stop, a giant beast appeared in my way. I couldn’t avoid it. He stood up in my stomach, and started jumping, it was horrible! But I felt no one wanted me to survive, so I quickly lost all my energy and died. I saw some red letters in front of me that said: Game Over. And I realized what was happening: I was a new videogame, who was being proved by some stupid boys who didn’t know how to defeat the beast.

jueves, 22 de marzo de 2007

Music

Hi everybody! I’ve been very busy this week, as I had a lot of things to do. Now I have to study for 2 tests, so I won’t write much.

I want to show you some of my English poetry. Some of them were made as song lyrics… The only one I found in my computer is this one. The others are all in my notebook. So I will write them in here and them I’ll post them.

This one is about music. I think I’ve already posted it in my fotolog. But I’ve made a little change now. The end of it may depress you… I’m sorry for that! But it was written when I really felt that way, and I don’t want to change now the final part (as I don’t feel that bad round these times) because the original one was like that, and in that time… (last year, round March, April I think).

So this is it!


MUSIC

I’m rocking in my room
Alone, with my headphones on.
I’ve been like this for five hours
Keep rocking and rocking all day.

It’s my life, why don’t you try?
You’ll see how you feel
It’s my life, to rock and sing
Shout, feel the music in my veins.

Rhythm keeps my heart beating
Lyrics make my mind run and follow it
I don’t hear more problems
No bad news anymore.

I love submerging in that world
Where no one can hear me
Where I don’t hear anyone
Only music is with me.

But when my headphones turn off
Everything is dark, horrible and terrible
Bad news reborn, problems come back
Why can’t I live with nothing else than music in my ears?

I really love music!


Vale! ♪

domingo, 18 de marzo de 2007

A night of insomnia


Here, what I promised: Insomnia.

I’ve finished my dinner and I’ve already washed my teeth. Now I am lying here in bed, with my body turned to my right side and all my body, except my head, covered with blankets. I’ve just prayed, as every night, and I check that everything is ok. All the lights are off and I can see only two little squares of light: the orange one, telling me were the light switch is, and the red one, of the mosquito’s device. The tic-tac of the clock never stops bothering and sometimes I hear a car passing by. I still can smell the burnt piece of bread of my sandwich.

Oh no! Now I am thinking of all these tiny details, I am analysing everything that surrounds me… that means that thoughts will start coming out and they won’t leave my mind until some hours later. It’s another night of insomnia.

The first thing that comes to my mind is that it’s late and I need to sleep because tomorrow I have to go to school and I need to be rested. But insomnia doesn’t care… when it gets in my room, is difficult to take it out; very difficult. And it seems that my door is always open, because it enters very often.

I think about what I have done today: my grandmothers, my godmother and a couple (friends of my parents) came home to eat a good barbecue. I remember the place where I was sitting, what we talked about, and I realize that I haven’t eaten much. At 5 p.m. I played tennis with 3 friends, and my team lost. After that we went to drink a Coke in the drugstore and then we made a volley match, which we won. Then good and bad times of all my life start appearing in front of me. It’s like I was living them again. And sometimes I change some little aspects of them as they take place in my mind.

While I hear howls and teros outside my window, my mind starts chasing death. Oh, I hate so much when that happens… I try to think of the happiest times I had, maybe a little event that made me so very happy. But it’s difficult to avoid that thought, that sense… The really fake photograph-images of my grandpas appear. Then a big black monster catches my grandmas... Whenever I think of this last idea, the lyrics of “Nan’s song”, from Robbie Williams, start singing in my mind. It reflects perfectly one of my grandmothers “with the blink of an eye…” and things like that. With great effort, relating one song with another, one singer with a band, I finally get out of death.

Tomorrow I have Philosophy! Oh no!! How I hate that subject… Have I finished my English homework? Yes I have. And Biology’s questions? Yes, all of them. Ok, now I can sleep without any worry. But now I am thinking on the career I want to study, that huge decision. Will it be suitable for me Architecture or Graphical Design? I also want to do a Photography Course… When should I do that? I must stop thinking now… I turn on the light and my eyes suffer. It feels as I was looking to the sun directly. I take my iPod out of the shelf and I choose those very soft songs. After some time, I realise that it’s worse. I sing and I think about all the memories that each song brings back. I will never sleep if I listen to music! What is more, music wakes me up. So I turn off the iPod and I pray again.

I am feeling very tired… after all that physical activity, how can I be still awake? I yawn… but I don’t fall asleep. Then many people come to my mind. People I miss, people I love, people I admire, and people I haven’t seen for ages. I think how I need this person, how I’d like to see this other, to hug, to talk to another one. And also when was the last time I saw someone. Death wants to appear again, it is pushing all the thoughts that are in the line, and wants to take action again… but I win this time. I think about my past, my present, my future. My plans, my dreams, fate, life and pain. It’s amazing how so much comes to my mind in such a short time. How ideas relate one to the other, how the net is made, and how my mind walks through all of them. A whole life represents in front of me, with images, sounds, smells, memories, they all move and act really well.

Oh, how I hate these insomnia nights. I will be sleepy tomorrow; I won’t pay attention in class… Wow! I’ve just got inspired. I know what to write about. So, just when I was insulting insomnia, inspiration knocked at my door. Now I have two visitors. I organize the idea in my head, turn the light on (it hurts again) and start to write in my notebook, where I have all my writings.

I finish that and I try to sleep again, unproductively. So I turn the lights on again and I continue the book I am reading. As most of my insomnia nights when I read, I finish the book. I have nothing else to do… If we were still on holidays I would go to the computer and spend a night without sleeping, as I did many times. But I need to sleep something. I have to go to school tomorrow. I want to stand up, jump, shout… but it’s the middle of the night and not only my family, but all the neighbourhood, is sleeping, even my cat! Now I want to play the guitar… I really want… but I can’t because of the same reason. I need to spend all the energy in something…

After having changed my position a thousand times, I feel hungry. I turn the lights on again and walk silently through the stairs. I eat a banana and drink a glass of water and go to my room again. Now that everything has passed through my head, I start to invent stories. I imagine me and someone else, all the dialogs, the things we do, what we say to each other, and I tell that person a lot. I choose a theme and start my redaction.

Slowly, my mind gets tired and the story turns boring. Then I don’t remember what I was telling to my “friend” and I start another topic. After many hours of insomnia, it decides to leave my room, and I fall asleep peacefully. But an hour or two later, the clock that had been bothering all night, starts to bother again.

Vale


My insomnia nights are like that. I think about everything. My first nights like that I used to get worried because of the time… but now I’ve learned that these nights are so productive! I reflect of lots of things I don’t have the time to in my daily life. I write, I read, and that is very good to me. I don’t want to suffer insomnia all the nights of my life, but once in a while is not that bad.

The phrase that inspired me to write about this topic in my fotolog is one from the song “Avanti Morocha” from “Caballeros de la Quema” which says: “Le converso a mi insomnio de vos…” I felt completely identified with it because that’s what I do! I chat, I don’t know if with my insomnia, with my bed, with the wall, with my teddy bear (which is a hippo) but I chat about “you” (referring to many people).

Then I was reading “Cartas para Claudia” from Jorge Bucay, and I read: “Es el sueño el que trae el cerrar los ojos, y no el cerrar los ojos el que trae el sueño”. That’s true!! Whenever I couldn’t sleep, and I told my mother, she would say: “Close your eyes and sleep will come”… What a lie!! I now perfectly know how it is…

The post about insomnia in my fotolog is in the archive of www.fotolog.com/vale_becker in the date 12/11/06.

sábado, 17 de marzo de 2007

Yesterday’s rain at gym class

There we were, all the girls from 3rd polimodal sitting some in chairs, some in desks, because there weren’t enough chairs for all of us. It was our fourth gym period on the year and we still haven’t started doing “gym”… we just talk and solve problems of the “Club Colegial” and the sweaters of the class. Those are things we MUST solve… but why in gym classes? Is one of my favourite subjects, and it’s not because we don’t do anything, it’s because I do!! Why everything has to be solved in gym classes? There are a lot of other periods in the week!

As always, I got out of the topic I wanted to talk about…

There we were, all sitting down, with Marcela in front of us. She was silent, with an angry face; and we were all talking. When we realised that, we all made silence, and she started to ask (again) about the “Club Colegial”… Then one of the girls went out with the idea of doing the final vote for the sweater. Suddenly a very loud sound burnt in the air; it was all the girls shout together, at the same time, saying different things, with different opinions. In that moment I felt like “Why am I here? Why do they all shout like that?” It was one of the lots of discussions we have had before… I hate that!! It’s impossible to talk in that way… Everybody starts shouting, and get mad!! Nobody hears your opinion, they complain and don’t give solutions. Every single thing that we do together, the same happens… And I really hate those moments. When that happens, I really want to go out, running, and don’t hear a thing!

I turned my head left and my eyes walked through the window. The rain was still falling down. It seemed that the girls shout made it get angry so it fell stronger each time.

My eyes in only some seconds, contemplated the school’s garden, the grass, the trees, the clouds, the mountain (a bit farther) and the rain heavily falling. It felt great! I was there inside of the room, suffering from this unnecessary collective shout, argues and souls burning in fire because the sweater has a “CSP” in the left and not in the right. And I was there, getting mad of all the noise, when I could be outside, contemplating the rain and thinking about many things…

Then everybody noticed that Marcela was still waiting for them to be silent, and with lazy steps, silence came. The voting started in a few aspects of the sweater… but we can NEVER be all in agreement. We can NEVER have a conversation without arguing, we can NEVER be silent when we get all together.

When it was my time to vote, I came back to reality. I noticed that the loud sound wasn’t there anymore, but everybody was still talking. I left aside the window and the rain, and came back to the room. I hadn’t missed anything, I had won something.
Ups… I’ve just remembered that I had to write about insomnia… I promise that’s next!! I’ll lend the computer to my brother for a while, and then I’ll dedicate to it.

viernes, 16 de marzo de 2007

Reaction to my poem about happiness and people's questions

I posted the poem of Happiness in my blog and flog, and people commented about it.

The last line of it was “not a contrast, but reinforcement of the idea developed before”... just as you said, Charlie!
People asked me why I was feeling so happy… And the moment when I wrote it was when I started to see light and to value a lot of things in life, last year. After my bad times round April and May, my life really changed. And that is written in the reaction to the paragraph I felt identified with, of the text “You 2.0”, in this blog. After that time my view of things changed enormously, I found what I was really looking for in life, what I was living for… in some way, I learned to live. After so much dark (many people didn’t ever notice that times I had) suddenly some little light flashes started appearing. They made me so good that I really valued them. I couldn’t believe that I came back home from school, happy! Smiling, because I had had a good day! When I wrote this poem was when I was feeling really that.

The poem is about some very good news that changed my life… But “the” notice I had was a sequence of events that made me stand up again. The happiness of little things... they can bring us so much joy!!! It’s wonderful!! The eternal happiness (what we all dream about) doesn’t depend on the “little things” and tiny acts or events that makes us smile. Eternal happiness is almost impossible. That state of joy is like a blanket that covers us, but always leaves a space uncovered. It comes, goes, hides, shows us its face, and then its back. We can find it, but we should know that it won’t be always there. Happiness is a mixture of lights and shadows, of joy and sadness. If we don’t know what shadows are, we will never know what light is. So, if we don’t ever suffer, we can’t be happy. We can’t really know what something is, if we don’t experience it or its opposite. Happiness isn’t found when we become rich or famous, nor at the end of life, but on our way through it. So we have to search for it, and when it appears, know how to graduate it and take advantage of it. But if it hides for a while, we must know that it’s not eternal. We will always find it once more. We won’t loose that game of “La Escondida”.

In our lives not everything is or will be perfect. We aren’t always on “well-lighted” places (like Hemingway’s bar). But it’s for sure that we know when we feel happy. It’s a state from which we don’t want to get out.

Ultimately I’ve been feeling so happy!!!! I’m satisfied with most of the aspects in my life (cause all of them, is imposible)… But if you ask me how I feel now, that head and throat are aching, I’d answer you that I’m really good, and happy. It’s my state nowadays, and has been for the last two weeks. Physical pain doesn’t last long (I guess so).

Ok, my idea was to write a couple of lines only, telling the ones who asked why I was feeling that happy, and to affirm Charlie’s doubt. But you know me… when I get inspired, anyone can stop me!! And if it’s an interesting theme, that really reaches me, uff! Also, let me tell you, that I still have a lot of things in my mind about the topic… But I won’t bore you.

If you want another post of happiness, go to my fotolog (www.fotolog.com/vale_becker) and on the archive look for the date 13/3/07, or 3/13/07, as it says there.

Just me… Vale

jueves, 15 de marzo de 2007

"The Spirit Carries On" by Dream Theater

Hi everybody… as I told Piru last class, I want to post something about insomnia. The ones that enter to my flog (www.fotolog.com/vale_becker) often, I think they read an entry about that topic, which I posted last year. I wrote it on an insomnia night. But last class, with Charlie, he told us to write about that, but imagining as we were on the place and situation, and to describe everything we would here, smell, see, and all the things we would think about. The idea was really good… and some things I wrote about last class, were in my flog too. So I told her that I was going to post something about it. I’m going to mix both: my flog and the one I wrote in class…
But now I’d like to share with you a song that reflects what I think. I listened to it for the first time very short time ago. (Leo thank you for your good recommendations on music!! And also to my dad, who liked Dream Theater, and bought 8 CD’s!!! He’s an abuser!! =P)
Well... while Charlie was talking last class about death, the eternal sleep, the eternal dreaming, and all that theories of dying while sleeping, this song came to mi mind. It’s called “The Spirit Carries On”, by “Dream Theater”.
“Where did we come from?
Why are we here?
Where do we go when we die?
What lies beyond
And what lay before?
Is anything certain in life?

They say, life is too short,
The here and the now
And you’re only given one shot
But could there be more,
Have I lived before,
Or could this be all that we’ve got?

If I die tomorrow
I’d be alright
Because I believe
That after we’re gone
The spirit carries on

I used to be frightened of dying
I used to think death was the end
But that was before
I’m not scared anymore
I know that my soul will transcend

I may never find all the answers
I may never understand why
I may never prove
What I know to be true
But I know that I still have to try

If I die tomorrow
I’d be alright
Because I believe
That after we’re gone
The spirit carries on

Move on, be brave
Don’t weep at my grave
Because I am no longer here
But please never let
Your memory of me disappear

Safe in the light that surrounds me
Free of the fear and the pain
My questioning mind
Has helped me to find
The meaning in my life again
Victoria’s real
I finally feel
At peace with the girl in my dreams
And now that I’m here
It’s perfectly clear
I found out what all of this means

If I die tomorrow
I’d be alright
Because I believe
That after we’re gone
The spirit carries on”

What a good song!!! Now I don’t have much time to make all the text about insomnia… that will be tomorrow, or the day after.

See you all!!!



Vale Becker

miércoles, 14 de marzo de 2007

My poetry

Some minutes ago I was checking my documents on mi computer, and fund something that I've written a think that a year ago... I don't know...

This is it:


HAPPINES

My face quickly changed
That common sight ran out
An ear-to-ear smile came across
Obviously I was feeling good.

Breathing went difficult
My heart tried to get out
From my body; it hurt.
I wanted to shout it out loud.

Happy so happy, wonderful,
More than glad and joyful
Like I’ve ever felt before
In that moment my life changed.





And I love feeling that way!!! =)


Charlie, good luck on your surgery!!
We'll miss youuu!




Vale

domingo, 11 de marzo de 2007

Changes in people

Well, today while I was doing my Global Studies homework, I read a phrase that caught my attention, and inspired me to write about. I really don’t know the way this is going to take, that’s why I am not posting very often… I find different to write in English… I feel that in Spanish words come easier to my mind, so I can write more fluently. But I guess that practicing here will be a good method to improve that.

As I said, I got inspired by a phrase in the text “You 2.0”. I haven’t read the whole text, as Caroline told us to read until “Overcome your fear of failure” (included); but in that section, I was caught by the last paragraph:

Not everyone will immediately take to the new you, warns psychologist Judith Sills. But such killjoys are probably responding to their needs rather than yours - the friend who skips your going-away party may be reveling in her sadness at losing your companionship. But ultimately, says Leahy, “If people close to you don’t like you now that you’re happier, then you have to ask yourself if they’re good people to have in your life.”

Sometimes people change, maybe for good, or for bad; but they change. People might be accustomed to see that person in a way, and when suddenly he changes, some get upset because the person is not as he used to be anymore. We can change in a lot of different ways, and when what we have become to has to do with someone’s life, they might be angry.

I feel I’ve changed a lot in the past 2 years, and I’m proud of that. I haven’t had the problem which is told in the text about but once. I used to be the same as the crowd, as all of my friends. We would go out together, go to a party, dance maybe, go to eat something by “the avenue”, or that kind of things that we all did. Then I started to find another way, other interests in life, new goals, new activities. My life turned around in a lot of aspects: I changed my clothes styles, the music I used to hear, I took up physical activity seriously, some other hobbies, my way of thinking, my mood, and my nights were different. I had no interest on going to a disco, or to a pub… I preferred a calmed night, talking with friends. Now I go to dance once in a while... but I’m not really fond of it. I feel different in some aspects to most people of my age.

So, my friends noticed the change in me and were happy because in my inside, I was another person. When my friends went to some parties, I used to stay at home… I preferred reading a book, being in my computer, or listening to music till late at night…

Once (not so long ago), I was going to go to a party, but suddenly all my interest ran away. I felt tired, sleepy, and nothing could change my mind. I wanted to go to bed early and sleep, after being out for 4 nights!! My friends, who I was going to go with, were angry because I had promised to go; they didn’t understand that I didn’t want to! We got all angry because of that problem. I am not of those persons that go to every single party… I go only to the ones that seem are going to be fun, and when all the group of friends go… because it’s difficult for me to have fun on that events.

So, I didn’t want to go to the party, and they got angry. At the same time, I was angry too, because they tried to convince me, knowing that it’s not what I really like, and beyond that, I didn’t feel like.

Going back to the piece of text I chose, I think that if you really like someone, you must accept how he is. And if he finds a new way of living that makes him happier, you must accept it. Why obliging him to do what he likes no more?

Maybe you are happier with the change of your friend, maybe you’re not. If you really don’t like “your new friend”, it’s better to let it go than to oblige him to do something. And, if you feel you shouldn’t lose that great person he is, you must respect him and do together what both have in common. The rest can be done each one by his side.

I analysed the text and even told my own experience! Wow! I think I’ve been doing this more than 20 or 30 minutes.
Vale Becker

sábado, 10 de marzo de 2007

Investigating this...




Hi again everybody…

Wow! Great fright I had a moment ago, when I couldn’t remember the password of my blog!! But after some minutes thinking, I got it! =)

I don’t know when we were supposed to start with this, but I’ve already done it. I’m still exploring the blog and all the options I have to do or to post, it’s great! I’ve just fulfilled my profile and I’m personalizing the style of this… let’s see how it goes.

I think it’s a great idea to write on a blog and all this new method of learning we are going through. It’s fun, interesting and we learn too. I like it!

I really don’t know which way this blog will go, but we’ll see as time goes by. I guess I will be writing very often about whatever the teachers ask or suggest, or simply whatever I feel like writing. Well, don’t know!

Welcome to my blog,
Welcome to my world.
This is me.


www.fotolog.com/vale_becker

Vale

jueves, 8 de marzo de 2007

Welcome to my world!!

Hi everybody,
Hi Charlie,
Hi Caroline,
Hi school partners!!

This is my blog.

Today I don't have time to write a lot more because I'm busy with a lot of things... but I just wanted to post something as my first entry, and also learn a bit how to use this...

I hope you like it, and we have a great year together!!

See you all,


I'm also at: www.fotolog.com/vale_becker



Vale Becker